Our Story
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7
I promised to share the story of how God has led Seth and myself together, and since it has taken me longer to get this written down than I anticipated, I hope I can share details accurately. There’s more detail behind my side of the story but that isn’t because Seth’s story is less important or less exciting. It’s mainly because I wrote this post and rambling comes naturally.
It all started on a work team back in 2012. The Remington/Wolcott Sunday Schools joined the Champaign Sunday School for a week in Knockpatrick, Jamaica. This is the first time Seth remembers meeting me, and while he was in high school at the time, the thought of marriage crossed his mind. While I never would have suspected during that trip that Seth would be my husband some day, I do remember respecting his father, Brian, and connecting with some of the others from the Champaign group. A blessing that would prove to be even more valuable in the future.
I suppose the next “event” about us occurred when I headed to Ixtlan, Mexico, for ten weeks in early 2014. If you read my previous blog you are probably aware that this was a difficult time for me, although it was also a good time of growth. When I headed down I did not anticipate the relationship I would form with Grant and Hannah Herrmann, but it turns out that I spent pretty much every evening at their home. Hannah is Seth’s oldest sister, so naturally he followed her blog and saw occasional pictures of me on there since I sort of invaded their life during that time. A significant event for Seth during that time was that he committed his life to Christ. While marriage wasn’t on the forefront of his mind, he did remember me from our trip to Jamaica and it was neat for him to see me connecting with his sister’s family. However, he thought I was Hannah’s age and marrying somebody that much older than him was not something he pictured for himself.
At some point I commented on Hannah’s blog, and through that comment Seth found my blog and realized through my email address that I was born the same year as he was. Little did I know that he began following my blog and learning more about who I am. Through my blog he was able to see that we had some core values in common: God, family, music, and travel. This led to him thinking more seriously about me as a potential mate, but he was still in college for another year and figured that it just made sense to wait until he graduated to get married.
Last summer Seth came to FBi as an intern and lived in Remington with his cousin. However, he went home most weekends and since I was at camp except for weekends, our paths did not cross much. There was one Wednesday night that he remembers seeing me at VBS, but I have no recollection of him being there. Our paths crossed a few other times at church things: baptisms, college weekend, and such, but I don’t think we ever really talked after our work trip to Jamaica.
You may have seen a post on this blog earlier about a weekend that I enjoyed with Hannah and her kids while Grant, Todd, and (ahem) Seth went to Barra for an extended weekend at the end of September. It turns out that Seth had begun to realize that maybe he wasn’t supposed to wait until he graduated to ask for me so he was very seriously praying about sending a proposal during that trip. And he was getting in on the Group Me pictures Hannah was posting of me with her kids. With lots of time for relaxation, he read a book called “Wild at Heart” that really spoke to him and helped guide him more towards marriage. Seth got back from the trip and talked with his parents and elder and was advised to wait at one point because he had some big tests coming up. Then he lost his “excitement” for marriage and he wanted to wait until that came back to move ahead. One evening while visiting with his best friend who had recently gotten engaged, Seth mentioned that he’d like to have consistent feelings for longer than just a week at a time. The roller coaster of emotions wasn’t exactly the ideal condition for something so big. But he was reminded that waiting for the “perfect” time wasn’t required. (Is there such a thing anyways?) At the end of October he felt ready [enough] to send the proposal and see how God would work it all out.
After having a lovely weekend in St. Louis with my dear friend Jenna, I got home on October 30th to find out that I had a proposal. Honestly, my heart sank when Dad asked me to go on a walk with him at 10:00 at night. I knew what was coming and I didn’t want it because I had spent all weekend enjoying the independence of being single. But God’s grace was there, so I bundled up and went for a walk with Dad. The next morning Mom and I went on our usual morning walk and I shared with her reasons why I did and didn’t feel ready to consider a proposal. But later that afternoon I felt ready to ask for a name so I met Dad at the gazebo in the middle of Fountain Park to find out who this man was.
There certainly were nerves going into that meeting, but there was also this huge element of grace. When Dad shared the name I was definitely surprised, but at the same time it seemed to make sense. Although I didn’t know much about Seth, I did know that he was a godly man and that I appreciated his family. Dad shared that Seth was finishing up school in May and would like to settle in the Champaign church. Already I knew there were lots of good things about it being Seth, but marriage is really big and I walked home a little overwhelmed.
I didn’t get much school work done that week, and by Wednesday I felt that I couldn’t really make a decision without some more information so I asked Dad to have Seth write me a letter explaining why he felt led to me. Thursday night as I held the letter in my hands, I was a little nervous knowing that this was yet another step deeper, but reading his story was something I needed to do. In the letter he explained some of the things that I shared above, along with the fact that he had been following my blog. At first it sort of creeped me out. At the same time I was glad that 1. he admitted it and 2. he followed my blog instead of following me and always trying to be around me.
The following week or two I didn’t feel much direction and my morning walks with mom consisted of sorting and wondering what God’s will was. It was a time that I felt really close to God and my prayer was that I would desire His will and do His will. Dad and Mom had told me early on that maybe if I never felt directed toward a ‘yes’ then my answer was a ‘no’. Mom told me that I would know. I had a big school project come up that captured my attention and caused me to think less of the proposal. I thought maybe it was a way of me forgetting and moving on. But the following week I went to Mexico for Thanksgiving and it turns out that Seth’s best friend was there too. He had mentioned this friend in the letter he sent me so I definitely knew who he was and the whole week I thought he knew who I was. It turns out that his friend was oblivious to the fact that I was the girl with a proposal from Seth, so it wasn’t awkward for him like it was for me. That week there were two times where I opened the Bible to something about love or marriage. I spent one early morning under the open sky praying and watching shooting stars. Most work team weeks are uplifting spiritually in the group sense, but for me there was a lot of personal quiet time with God that week and the Spirit was alive and moving in my heart.
The Sunday after I got home I chatted with Dad in the morning before others were stirring. I didn’t tell him outright that I felt led towards a yes, but we talked about what the homemaker/wife/mother roll being fulfilling and how satan is attacking the church and America by attacking families. Godly marriages are a threat to his kingdom. He didn’t tell me this at the time, but later he informed me that after our conversation he knew what my answer was. It was only a matter of time till I discovered it for myself 
I shared with Mom the next day that I felt led towards a yes and asked her to pray through it with me. On Tuesday I came to Michigan and told Maria I had a proposal but did not tell her the name. It was a tumultuous few days as I worked through this strong desire that had grown in me to say yes and the fear of the commitment and the unknown. What if Seth wasn’t really the right one for me? What if God didn’t want me to say yes? What if my reasons for saying yes were not right? What if, what if, what if.
I shared with Mom the next day that I felt led towards a yes and asked her to pray through it with me. On Tuesday I came to Michigan and told Maria I had a proposal but did not tell her the name. It was a tumultuous few days as I worked through this strong desire that had grown in me to say yes and the fear of the commitment and the unknown. What if Seth wasn’t really the right one for me? What if God didn’t want me to say yes? What if my reasons for saying yes were not right? What if, what if, what if.
Fear is powerful. The struggle was real. But God was so faithful and as I sorted through things with Maria Thursday night I was overwhelmed by a peace I could feel. It was a moment where I knew. I was going home the next day and planned to give Dad my answer Friday evening, but in the morning a devotion I was doing talked about running away from God and those fears crept back in. It’s not fun to have a strong desire for something good and feel as though it’s wrong. But God was faithful and at one point on my drive home as I will filling up my car and wrestling inside I opened the Bible. I told God that if He wanted me to say no I would. But there was this strong desire within to say yes. When I opened the Bible a portion in Matthew 21 fell open. I wasn’t sure exactly how it all pertained to my decision, but verse 42 stuck out to me. Truly my feelings for Seth and this proposal were the Lord’s doing, and at some point I would have to cling in faith to whatever answer I gave. I don’t doubt that God could have audibly told me what answer to give, but I also don’t think that’s how He prefers to communicate with us. We call it marriage by faith for a reason, and I was ready to move forward in faith.
I talked with Dad Friday evening, December 2nd, and later that night got my first text and phone call from Seth.
It’s been a beautiful journey. Difficult, yes. And I’ve made mistakes through the whole thing. But it is so faith building and so wonderful because it is another testimony of God’s faithfulness. So to Him be all glory.
If you’ve made it this far, congratulations. Now for some pictures.
And to finish, I’d like to say a huge thanks to those who have prayed for us, encouraged us, and just been general support. It has meant more than I ever realized and could ever express.
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